Posts Tagged ‘Hell’

I know what you’re thinking; what the hell does he mean by phone sex lottery. Well I will tell you; every time we pick of the phone to call some phone sex operator we are taking a gamble that she will be worth our time and the money we spend on the call. Some times we get a good one and hit the jackpot or should I say lottery and some times we end up wasting money and time on something that brings us no satisfaction.
That’s just what I did tonight; I took a chance and called this hot slut Meryl thinking that damn anything that looked that hot had to be good in bed, well I was wrong. This dumb whore I am sure in real life is what one would call a dead fuck. She had no imagination, her voice was dull and lifeless, she didn’t show the least bit of interest in pleasing me the customer, hell I even think she was yawning during the call. After the second yawn I gave up and ended the call. I mean enough is enough and I think she got enough money for doing nothing and hell now the slut can go to bed and stop yawning her head off.
Still in the mood to get my dick off before heading to bed I decided to call one more girl. I found this hot little red head Molly, perky tits, nice round ass, and a body that just screams fuck me, so I said what the hell and gave her a call. All I can say is Molly didn’t disappoint, her voice dripped sex appeal, and she was most eager to do what ever I asked of her and not one single yawn. She climbed right up on to my lap and took every hard inch of my hard cock into her sweet pussy and gave one hell of a ride! So make note; one more good phone whore out there for those of us in the need of a little pleasure.

Alright so we know all women have a pussy, but do all women know how to use there pussy to satisfy a man? The answer to that is no, sad to say from my call with Lilly her pussy is either dead, has no feeling, or she’s just one frigid bitch. Which to be honest after seeing a picture of her cunt it’s really sad to think that poor Lilly doesn’t know how to have fun with her pussy. All pretty and pink, and looking like such a tight little hole, it’s a real shame she didn’t have a clue that she’s suppose to put some movement in her pelvis when a man is fucking her.
Really, just what is suppose to be the turn on for a man to slide his cock into a her fun hole and the bitch just lays there, no motion in the ocean, just a few moans thrown in to try to make me the customer believe she was enjoying our fuck session. I for one would have to say that her fun hole wasn’t really much fun at all. I doubt this hoe even got the least bit wet down there, much had any fun. Hell I know I didn’t have any fun, and from my limp dick I can say my cock was bored also.
Now all wasn’t lost, I ended my call with dead fuck and called this sexy little number named Daphne, this slut knew how to please a man, and had my cock standing at attention right off the bat. But best of all she kept me rock hard throughout the whole call, till finally it was time for me to blow my load. Oh yes dead fuck was no help but thankfully Daphne knows her way around a dick and I have to say made mine very happy indeed.

That’s right; my dick was one happy camper, standing at attention, ready to play till I called Beth the suck as phone sex whore. Let me just say Beth didn’t seem very interested in playing with my cock nor making him happy. As a matter of fact she kind of scared the hell out of my dick with the way she kept screaming she was going to bite my pecker. I didn’t want my Willy bit, and to be honest if she was that damn hungry I think a trip to KFC would have been better then trying to chew on my cock!
I’m not kidding here this bitch really didn’t pay the least bit of attention to what my fantasy was. I wanted her to suck my balls, run her tongue up my shaft, then take my huge dick into her mouth for some nice sucking action, not try to eat my dick! Screaming at me give me that dick, I want to bite it hard, I want to hurt you, fucking hell is it any wonder she scared my poor cock? I’m not sure if I will have any fun with my poor pecker for at least a good hour now after that evil bitch scared the hell out of it.
Just a note here for all of you phone sex sluts; most men don’t want there dicks bitten off. Learn to listen to what the customer wants for fuck sake, sure if he’s into that then hell yes go for it, but damn don’t try to bite my dick off if I’m not into torture. I would much rather a woman be gentle with my cock then try to eat it for dinner. If you that damn hungry then by all means grab a bite to eat before you start taking calls. Noting worse then scaring a mans dick, spoils the rest of the night since it won’t come out to play.

Well as you all should know by now I love to call phone sex lines. The only problem is you never know when you call a new slut if she’s going to take the time to play your fantasy or if she’s going to be just another dead fuck on the other end of a phone line. I mean there’s nothing worse then getting a nice boner, finding a hot whore to call and then the bitch does nothing, just sits there throwing in a few mindless moans here and there, and a fake orgasm. Fucking hell she may as well be throwing a bucket of cold water on my damn dick, it would have the same affect.
At any rate I called this slut Lynda; she looked hot, but as I found out just because the bitch looks hot doesn’t mean she knows jack shit about how to get a man off. For one thing the stupid whore kept coughing through the whole call. Guess she smokes too much and thinks that me paying her by the minute to sit there and hack up her lungs is a turn on; not. I finally just told her that I would have better luck jacking off by myself for all the use she was.
Finding myself still in the mood for some sexy chat to get my cock hard again I tried another girl by the name of Alice. Have to say at least this one didn’t sit there with the fake moaning and had a damn sexy voice. She knew just what to say to make me hard, and just how to stroke my dick till I was ready to explode. Oh hell yes this bitch can make a man cum, and thank God for that. After that Lynda slut I was left in a real bad mood but Alice helped me out with some down and dirty cyber loving.

Sorry just in a really bad mood tonight. Just sitting here after calling this bitch April and wonder how in the fuck someone like that could ever get hired to be a phone sex operator. I mean do they even bother to check and see if these hoes even know what sex is much less how to do it before they hire one? April may look hot as hell, but her talent for leading a man through his fantasy is what one would call; none. She reminded me of some twit when on a long drive that is dumb enough to keep asking, are we there yet. No bitch were not there yet and doesn’t look like my cock is going to get anything out of this call.
On and on she went, oh baby this and oh baby that, I really just wanted to reach through the phone and slap the shit out of her to be honest. Talk about getting on my last nerve. I’m a customer, not her baby, not her sweet heart, I want one thing when I call a phone hoe, and that is to make my cock hard, make me feel good, and make me shoot my load. Now I ask is that to much to ask? After all it is called phone sex, so it should be a given to these stupid whores that we want sex, not oooh baby. Fucking hell oooh baby does nothing for my dick, but thinking about pussy lips wrapped tight around my cock does a whole hell of lot to get me turned on and ready to go.
So to all you lack luster phone sluts out there, please make notes, hell if you must go read a book on sex, look at some pictures of what people do when they fuck, so maybe next time someone calls, you might have a clue how to suck that dick, ride that cock, or even play with your pussy.

Hell if anyone out there can answer that question then I sure as hell would love to hear your reply. I have to wonder about some of these phone sex operators, what goes through there minds when they put up an ad to advertise there service? Do they even think for one minute about the fact that maybe just maybe it might work out better if they knew how to do half the shit they say they are good at? Take for example; if I say I can fix your toilet then I had better damn well know how to fix that toilet or not expect to get paid. So then why should I have to pay some dipshit that doesn’t have a clue how to please a man for a suck ass call? I tell you why; they think we are all dumb shits, with our dicks in our hands and don’t care. I for one do care, and if I pay I want what I pay for.
Sad to say I called this bitch Courtney and all though she looked hot, and yes her voice was sexy, she seemed more like a speed fucker to me. Get it; speed reader, speed fucker, sorry just felt like a little humor after such a bad call. Any way Courtney didn’t have a clue how to masturbate for a man. Makes one wonder how she plays with her pussy own her own time because when I was paying her those cunt lips were not getting much attention. It sounded to me like she was sitting there eating a meal while she was supposed to be playing with her fun hole. Bitch if you want to eat wait to do that on your own time, not while I’m paying you
At any rate that phone slut was what I love to call a lack luster phone whore. Not giving up though, I know there are still some good bitches out there to call and will keep on trying them out, making notes here of the bad ones and the good ones. So at least anyone that reads my blog can avoid the suck ass hoes I’ve wasted money on.

That’s right; I freed Willy tonight, and some slut named Bree made my dick you limp and not want to come out and play anymore. Now I ask how fucking sad is that, to fuck with a mans boner. There really should be a law against whores that take money for phone sex and kill a mans hard on. Why not just be honest, state the facts in there ads, I don’t have a clue how to turn a man on much less make his dick hard. I will in fact kill any boner you may already have and expect you to pay me per minute for this wonderful experience. Oh I know why they won’t do that; then all of horny men won’t waste our time or money calling a dead fuck.
Wow so glad I was able to clear that one up and do hope that some of you so called phone whores are reading my blog and taking notes. Lord only knows you know all the information and help you can get to have a clue about how a mans cock works and just what it takes to make us cum. Here’s an idea; why not try to for once get into the fantasy you are asked to play out? Who knows you might get wet and enjoy the call for a change and the customer will get what he’s paying for so everyone would be happy. Damn how nice would that be?
Oh well Bree you were a waste of time and money and just another so called phone slut that didn’t know what to do with a dick. So I will be moving on, finding a whore that knows what a man likes, knows how to handle a cock, and enjoys helping her caller reach that climax he paid for. Hot damn that would be one hell of phone sex call now wouldn’t it?